Risen from the end of the world

Life does have its way of letting you coming face to face with your deepest and darkest fear. Maybe it's God's way of showing you that you create your own fear rather than there's something to be scared about. Well, as they always say only God knows why. 

Rather I am going to talk about what I know. I know that for a very long time I've afraid of corporate people. Yes. You heard it right. You know who I'm talking about. The man in the suit with the tie. I am not sure where this fear stemmed from. But I try to avoid them as much as possible. And if I do meet them, I get tongue-tied. You may ask then why did I take a job that would lead me to meet these people everyday. Just so you know, I consider politicians part of this group. They're the same deep down, trust me. It's all about numbers.

I am used to firing questions that needs to be asked towards politicians who obviously do not welcome it. But when I meet MIS (men in suits) at especially business-related functions, I clam up and go to my cave. I just do. I have nothing good to say to them. Or rather I don't know what to say to them. Especially when they start jabbering at subjects like stock markets and annual reports. I hate numbers to the very core. Maybe that is where the fear is born. Facing the very people who created this numbers. 

I am 27 this year. For 27 years, I have done a good job avoiding these people. And if I do meet them at assignments, I will merely exchange a few words and my name card. Period. 

Well, my skeleton in the closet has caught up to me after being kept hidden in a dark corner of my life with the key thrown into the river. Guess the key found its way to its hole. 

I am about to face a room full of people in suits in my company. The very people who control those numbers including my salary. Tuesday is a D-day for me. I have tried dancing around in circles for seven months just barely surviving. But time's up.

So what do I do?  Do I run away? or do I face the music? I have decided to face the music but barely. I just want this over and done with. A chapter of my life that I want to never make it into the pages so I don't need to flip those pages again. Then again, maybe I would after going through it and actually surviving of course. 

Till then...

Serenity

So I turned 27 on Thursday. Another year of has gone and passed so swiftly. I wished I had time to walk down memory lane but it would be a luxury to do so.

Frustration

"I feel like a crippled," I complaint. I was trying a walking stick when me and my boy were heading out. Here I am limping and feeling helpless. I had to DEPEND on this stick to get me around. My boyfriend went "Even the best athletes fall down". And it struck me. Athletes go through this countless of times. I can't imagine what Chong Wei went through when he was injured. The gold medal for the London Olympics was just within his reach but he probably has to let go of that dream.

"I was sooo freakin'close!"

Pix souce: The Star Online 

I injured my foot while running last Monday and I have been limping everywhere since then. I took it real hard. You name it. I whined, complaint and shed some tears to say the least. 

I have worked so hard since November to arrive to where I was- at my peak. I couldn't accept that all my hardwork, my blood, sweat and tears going down the drain. I lost 5.5 kg and I planned to lose more. More importantly, I was healthy and strong. 

Now, you won't be seeing me running around the neighbourhood easily for 30 mins a day for at least 2 weeks. And busting out a half an hour high intensity interval training after that by the way.

My boy reminded me that even the best athletes succumb to injuries. True, I thought.

Athletes have to train really hard before a major competition. An injury can be unforgiving.To go down like that is painful: not just physically but mentally. You think about all the time and effort you took to hone your skills and strength to arrive at this juncture, only to be taken away in a second.

But it reminded me how sportsmanship is important. I could go on all day and sulk. Kick up a fuss! (believe me I did). But like an athlete, injuries only make them determined more than ever to get back in the game. This is life. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. And I agree that to pick myself up and I need to put my chin up. My leg could have been broken and I would have to be on hiatus on my workout for a loooong time.

Thankfully, it isn't.

Pick yourself up when life hits you with another SURPRISE :)

 Pix source: http://www.beforehealth.co.cc/

So, I'm going to take the next two to three weeks as a time for me to reflect my life, read the books I bought that have been nicely collecting dusts on my desks... and just enjoy being a blob :P 

Although that doesn't mean I'm totally not going to workout. I'll wait till week two until I start again slowwwlyyyy... But be assured that I will reach my goal. This is just a small bump I'll get over to get to reach for MY stars ;)

Someone like you

 I found a post which I never got to post up. Here it goes:

I don't know if you're still watching over me. Or if you even miss me or think about me. I still do glance through the windows of time every now and then. I remember the sweet love and how the world would stop every time we look into each other's eyes. I wonder if you still do. Whether you've moved on. Whether you're holding someone else in your arms. Whether she makes you happy like I did. This video is dedicated to you. You know who you are. I hold no grudges or anger. I wish you all the best. Truly :). Hope you're watching...