Risen from the end of the world

Life does have its way of letting you coming face to face with your deepest and darkest fear. Maybe it's God's way of showing you that you create your own fear rather than there's something to be scared about. Well, as they always say only God knows why. 

Rather I am going to talk about what I know. I know that for a very long time I've afraid of corporate people. Yes. You heard it right. You know who I'm talking about. The man in the suit with the tie. I am not sure where this fear stemmed from. But I try to avoid them as much as possible. And if I do meet them, I get tongue-tied. You may ask then why did I take a job that would lead me to meet these people everyday. Just so you know, I consider politicians part of this group. They're the same deep down, trust me. It's all about numbers.

I am used to firing questions that needs to be asked towards politicians who obviously do not welcome it. But when I meet MIS (men in suits) at especially business-related functions, I clam up and go to my cave. I just do. I have nothing good to say to them. Or rather I don't know what to say to them. Especially when they start jabbering at subjects like stock markets and annual reports. I hate numbers to the very core. Maybe that is where the fear is born. Facing the very people who created this numbers. 

I am 27 this year. For 27 years, I have done a good job avoiding these people. And if I do meet them at assignments, I will merely exchange a few words and my name card. Period. 

Well, my skeleton in the closet has caught up to me after being kept hidden in a dark corner of my life with the key thrown into the river. Guess the key found its way to its hole. 

I am about to face a room full of people in suits in my company. The very people who control those numbers including my salary. Tuesday is a D-day for me. I have tried dancing around in circles for seven months just barely surviving. But time's up.

So what do I do?  Do I run away? or do I face the music? I have decided to face the music but barely. I just want this over and done with. A chapter of my life that I want to never make it into the pages so I don't need to flip those pages again. Then again, maybe I would after going through it and actually surviving of course. 

Till then...